Answering the Hard Questions and Navigating the Final Season with an Aging Parent

For us “Baby Boomers,” they’re the last of the WWII Generation. They may have grown old and feeble, but they fought more battles than we can imagine. Dad was the first to go and Mother followed him 2 years later. My precious wife, Sheila, said goodbye to her dad 3 years ago while personally caring for him. And now her mother, a non-complaining and very courageous lady, transitioned to Heaven last week. If we live long enough, we’ll all have to say goodbye to parents. And each of us has a story to tell.

Here’s the theological dilemma. When believers trust in Jesus, who rescues them from sin and gives them eternal life, why do they still have to grow old and die? Here are a few thoughts to consider:

1. Unfortunately, Death is a Constant Reminder of the Severity of Sin. We can prolong the dying process, but we can’t keep it from happening. Even Lazarus, after he had been raised from the dead, died again! Death, according to God, is the culmination of the physical consequences of sin upon the entire human race (Gen. 2:17; 3:19).

2. But it’s also a Glorious Reminder of God’s Merciful Gift of Salvation. If death wasn’t a reality, how could we possibly appreciate eternal life? By trusting in what Jesus did, even as the physical body wears out, we have confidence that we will forever be alive with Him (Job 19:25-27; John 11:25-26)!

3. It’s an Opportunity for the “Comforter” to Work Through You. Emotions can run high during the dying process of a parent…grief, anger, resentment, blaming, guilt-trips, refusal to forgive and greed! Resist opportunities to vent. Open yourself to the wisdom of God’s Spirit to comfort rather than confront! And above all...bring love, comfort and peace to the one who will soon be with the Lord.

4. It’s a Glorious Promotion! Begin to see your loved ones the way they will be in Heaven…all sickness, pain, tears and death gone! Physical death merely releases their human spirits from the bondage of the flesh so they can enter into the presence of God with no limitations and without any stain of sin at all (Rev. 21:4-5). Now that’s a real Promotion!

5. It’s the Transfer of an Unseen Heritage. Not all inheritances have monetary value (Prov. 22:1). And what worth can you place on a spiritual heritage of living faith? When a godly mother or dad transitions to Heaven, they transfer to you a new level of authority…and anointing (2 Kings 2:11-15). But what if your heritage isn’t godly? Then ask the Lord to help you learn from their mistakes. Ask Him to give you a powerful spiritual heritage for your children, your children’s children…and for all who look to you as a spiritual father or mother.

So, for Those of us who Remain...How Then Shall We Live? Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Live as one who knows that life will eventually come to an end (Ps. 90:12).

2. Live as one who makes a difference in the next generation (Ps. 71:17-18).

3. Live as one who totally depends on the Savior’s love for life beyond the grave (John 11:25-26; 14:6).

4. Live Your Eulogy! It’s how people will remember you and learn from your life (Prov. 31:28-31).

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