Navigating Family Turmoil With The Father’s Love

It wasn’t supposed to be like this! Families were supposed to love, protect and care for one another. But Adam turned on his wife and blamed her for his sin. Cain rose up with jealousy and killed his brother. Jacob deceived his father. Esau purposely hurt his parents (Gen. 28:6-9). Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery. Incest and betrayal was among King David’s children (2 Sam. 13:10-15; 2 Sam. 15:12-14). Even Jesus’ family tried to control Him (Matt. 12:46-50) and told people He was crazy (Mark 3:20-21)!

For over 30 years of pastoral ministry, I have seen families demonstrate extraordinary love, dedication and sacrifice for one another. But when it doesn’t work out like that, we’re left confused, wounded, resentful and angry. This is true for your natural family and for the family of God, your brothers or sisters in Christ! How, then, can you navigate life when your family, or the ones closest to you, hurt you rather than love you? Here are some thoughts to consider…especially on “Father’s” Day:

What Happened?

1. Family troubles can’t be totally blamed on Adam and Eve’s sin. It actually began in heaven when God’s “family,” His angelic host, betrayed Him, staged a coup and fought against His righteous rule (Is. 14:12-14; Rev. 12:3-4, 7-9). God feels your pain more than you can possibly know!

2. But how could that have happened? God gave freedom of will. Love, loyalty and devotion are proven in personal choices. Without freedom of choice, we’re just puppets on a divine string.

3. Thus demonic seeds of treachery were sown into Adam and Eve’s family…all because they failed to “subdue” and “rule over” Satan’s evil influence (Gen. 1:28; 3:1-8). And the rest of the story is history!

Why Does It Hurt So Much?

1. God intended families to be safe havens…places of vulnerability, open hearts and secure trust. When the walls of self-protection are lowered, hurtful minds find easy targets for betrayal.

2. When trust is broken, it shatters the foundation of family life. Listen to David’s anguish when he was betrayed by one closest to him. “For it is not an enemy who reproaches me, then I could bear it…But it is you, a man my equal, my companion and my familiar friend.” (Psalm 55:12-13)

What Can You Do?

1. Love Like the Father Loves. God takes the first step toward reconciliation. Love those who hurt you…even WHILE they’re sinning against you (Rom. 5:8; Luke 23:33-34). Love is redemptive.

2. Do What the Father Did. It takes great maturity to do this: Be merciful and kind to those who are ungrateful and try to hurt you (Luke 6:35-36).

3. Sow Seeds of Peace into Turmoil. God’s wisdom brings peace, not conflict (James 3:13-18). The Father is a Peacemaker…and so are His sons (Matt. 5:9).

4. Do Your Part and Let the Father Do His. Your assignment is to overcome evil with good. If they reject your kindness, trust God to handle it the way He knows is best (Rom. 12:17-21).

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